Let’s Be Real

Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted to do great things for God. At a young age, I remember thinking I would do whatever it took for people across the world to hear about the life of Christ and how to have hope through Him. In the 8th grade, God asked me if I would be willing to give my life as a missionary and I said yes.

When I was in school at Central Bible College, God continued to confirm how He had created me to give my life in overseas missions. My heart burned with passion for those who had never heard of Jesus. The thought, “if I don’t go and tell them, they will die without knowing” continually ran across my mind. At times, I felt guilty because of having experienced the love of Christ on a daily basis while others were living in desperate and scary situations with no chance of receiving what I had. And though I don’t believe God would place guilt on me for having experienced His love and power (since He freely gives it!), I do think it was a good reminder to not allow myself to be comfortable and forget that others deserved the same chance.

Though I was confident in God’s purpose for my life, I had several moments of being afraid to do it alone. And you know, in college everyone is at the age where you start “looking” for someone to spend your life with. Let’s just be real, the thought of being single and going across the world alone sometimes distracted me from keeping my eyes completely on Jesus—knowing He had everything under control. Sometimes I found myself not wanting to go into missions without being married. I’m sort of a romantic and it was easy to allow myself to dream of what I wanted instead of what I knew God was asking. What was it that He was asking? Simply that I be willing to follow His voice and do whatever it took that others would hear the Gospel of Jesus.

In chapel at CBC, I had this beautiful realization. The fear of not finding someone to spend my life with was crippling me. I wasn’t created to fall in love, get married, and live in a Disney movie the rest of my life. No! God created me so that I could enjoy His presence, He could enjoy mine, and that I would know Christ and share what I knew about Him! Early in life, I had experienced feeling physically safe in the presence of Jesus. I knew what it was like to be insecure and find worth in Him. At CBC, I really began to understand why Jesus—who lived a perfect life—chose to die for all of mankind who was so far from perfection. The God who encounters nothing too big or impossible, the God filled with love and compassion for a people so undeserving, the God I had given my life to as a young child promised to empower me as a witness of all of these things to all people. I made a declaration that day. No longer was I going to put God’s perfect plan for my life on hold because of thinking I had planned it better. No longer was I going to sacrifice that others would know Jesus because of my own desires. I had chosen to give my life over to Jesus and there really was nothing more I wanted than to live completely in His plan. Besides, He knows me better than I know myself. Wouldn’t He take care of my desire to get married? I left chapel that day declaring I would go overseas alone and do whatever it took that others would know Jesus and I meant it.

Be encouraged as you strive on in the life God has for you. More often than not, He asks us to sacrifice our desires for the sake of His purpose for our lives. I’d love to hear how God is leading you. Have any similar situations? Maybe God is asking you to let go of something and trust Him.

  • March 14, 2016
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Jessi Bock
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